Barriss' Lament
by iSparks
Summary: As Barriss Offee awaits her final fate behind the sealed doors of her cell, she is faced with the thought that she may never be allowed to apologize to the only person she felt she had wronged while campaigning to show the galaxy what the Jedi had become, but when given the chance, will she be able to put into words her regret? Or will fear once again get the best of her?


**Warning: **The following contains spoilers to The Clone Wars season five final arc and overall finale.

**Synopsis: **Two days after being discovered as the mastermind behind the Jedi Temple Bombings and the murder of Letta Turmond, Barriss Offee awaits her final fate in her cell as she contemplates what she did in order to stand by her beliefs. It only during this reflection that Barriss comes to terms with her one and only regret but is given the opportunity by an old friend to make it right and send a heat-felt and deserved apology to her best friend, Ahsoka Tano.

* * *

**Barriss' Lament**

* * *

Barriss allowed a long and grief filled sigh to escape her dry purple lips as she aimlessly stared at the cold white floor of her cell.

It had been two full days since she had been discovered to be the perpetrator of not only the bombing of the Jedi Temple, but the murder of Letta Turmond and framing of her now former best friend, Ahsoka Tano.

Now, Barriss was left to await her trial, a trial she knew would only end in her demise and though she may have been afraid, she was also ready and willing to face the consequences of her actions and stand up for what she believed in.

The Jedi had betrayed themselves and become the very thing they swore to protect against, they had become nothing more than soldiers, fighting for a republic that was rapidly failing and falling into the hands of the power hungry politicians that led it.

No, Barriss had no regrets at her actions, no matter how wrong they may have been and how much she may have hated herself for the deaths of innocents, there was nothing that would make her go back on what she did, nothing, though there was something that she did wish she could have before her final fate was decided.

Forgiveness, not from the Jedi, not from the Republic, but from Ahsoka. The young Togruta's life had been turned upside down by her and Barriss had no excuses for what she had done to her best friend, even now, it still hurt to think about it.

If Barriss could ask for one thing before she died, anything, it would be Ahsoka's forgiveness though it was one thing thinking about it and another things actually doing it.

"Stand away from the door" the sound of a Clone Trooper's order broke Barriss out of her thoughts as she complied and stood to walk towards the far end of her cell.

The door opened, allowing a squad of four Clones into the small room, followed closely behind by Barriss' former mentor, Master Luminara Unduli.

Barriss' eyes widened as the door to her cell closed behind the elder Mirialan and she was forced to come face to face with the last person she wanted to have to see.

"Master…" Barriss gave her teacher a dry greeting as she once again took her seat on the small bench that acted as her bed.

Luminara frowned slightly, "Leave us" she said with slightly hoarse voice as she gestured for the clones to exit the cell, an order the four troopers seemed reluctant to follow but eventually complied with and left, sealing the door behind them.

Barriss dropped her gaze back to the floor as her former master took a seat next to her and let out a long and heavy sigh of her own, "How have you been, Barriss?" she asked with a slight and surprisingly awkward tone.

"Conflicted… my master" Barriss responded sadly as she felt a sudden and heavy feeling grip her heart.

Luminara sighed again, "I could always sense that in you, ever since Geonosis…" she said thoughtfully, "I only wish that I could have done more for you, towards the end"

Barriss looked at her former master pleadingly, "Do you not understand why I did it, Master?" she asked, feeling a tear run down her cheek.

"I will never understand why you did it Barriss" Luminara replied almost coldly as she stood and faced the door of the cell, "I'm here to grant you one final request on behalf of the Jedi Order, Master Yoda insisted that I be the one to come here and see you" she added and Barriss couldn't help but feel like one of her oldest and closest friends had abandoned her.

"So, my fate is sealed…" Barriss spoke with a tone of calmness that surprised even her, "I won't ask for much, but there is one thing I would like the opportunity to do" she said, staring at the elder Mirialan's back as she inwardly hoped her former master would look her in the eye at least one more time.

Luminara turned her head slightly and for the first time, Barriss could see that the Jedi Master had let a few tears of her own slide down her flushed green cheeks, "And? What would that be" she asked, struggling to keep her voice from shaking.

Barriss sighed sadly, "I want the chance to apologise… I want to tell Ahsoka that I'm sorry for what I did to her" she spoke with an equally sad tone as she once again dropped her gaze to the floor below her.

"That's not possible" Luminara replied as she turned to finally look at her former Padawan, "Ahsoka rejected the chance to return to the Order, none of us know where she is" she added, before taking a deep breath.

Barriss' eyes widened once again as she lifted her gaze to meet that of her former master's, "Ahsoka…" she almost whispered her friends name, "Why? She was proven innocent, why would she leave?"

"Her reasons are her own, I only know she had lost faith in herself and felt she had no choice but to leave the Order behind her… It was our folly… we abandoned her…" Luminara replied quickly, though her point had been firmly driven home.

Barriss quickly realised that her actions coupled with those of the Jedi Council had made Ahsoka see that the Order was what she had feared it was becoming, a slave to the very Republic it swore to protect.

It may have been a bittersweet victory, but Barriss couldn't help but feel happy that Ahsoka had gotten away from the Order.

She knew what was to come, she knew that the Jedi would soon be destroyed either by themselves or by something else and of the few that Barriss hoped would escape such a fate; Ahsoka was high up on the list.

"Is there any way I could reach her? If only to apologise?" Barriss asked with a hopeful tone as she kept her gaze on the Jedi Masters saddened expression.

Luminara almost let a soft smirk cross her features, "You were always very persistent, my former Padawan" she said, a tone of regret returning to her voice as she reached inside her long robes and pulled out a small disc shaped device, "This will allow you to record a message for Ahsoka, if it will reach her is another question, but I will try my hardest to make sure it does"

Barriss smiled, her heart suddenly feeling a lot lighter as she gratefully accepted the small disc from her former mentors hand, "Thank you, Master" she said, holding the device close to her chest as she locked her eyes with the elder Mirialan's one last time.

"You don't need to thank me, Barriss" Luminara said with a look of sadness as she once again turned and knocked on the door to signal she was ready to leave, "If I don't get to see you again… if I don't get the chance to say this, well…" she paused, "I want you to know that I was proud to have been your master" she said, before the door opened and the Jedi Master exited the cell and her former pupils life, forever.

Barriss sighed, though it was not one of regret like she would have expected, no, she was glad, glad that her Master had not completely abandoned her like the others had and though it seemed like a contrasting comparison, Barriss couldn't help but relate to what she thought Ahsoka must have and must still be feeling having left the Order behind.

There was no regret, Barriss was sure she was happy that Ahsoka had left the Jedi even if she also knew it must have broken the Togruta's heart to do so, at least she wouldn't have to bear witness when the inevitable happened.

Now there was only one last thing Barriss felt she still needed to do, she had gone over what she would like to say to Ahsoka if she was given the chance, but in the end, she could only hope that her heart would guide her through what would be her final conversation with her best friend, even if that conversation would be entirely one sided.

Barriss took a deep breath and steadied herself, she didn't have much time and now, she figured, was as good a time as any as she set the small disc shaped recorder next to herself and activated the device.

_Ahsoka, my friend, I know that seeing and even hearing from me must not be what you would want to be doing, but I can only hope that you will let me explain myself and let you know just how sorry I am for what I have done to you._

_In truth, I panicked, I should have known you would be so persistent when searching for the truth behind the bombing of the temple and yet, I did nothing to stop you from finding the evidence that would have eventually led to my discovery._

_When Letta was arrested, I was sure that was the end of it, I was sure I could put all the pain and suffering I had caused both myself and the rest of the Order behind me and forget about the whole thing, though even that sounds like it would be wishful thinking._

_To say I hate the Jedi Order would be a lie and a contradiction of all I stand for, I don't hate them and I want you to know that I don't and never will hate you._

_What I did to you was wrong, I fully realise that as well as that my actions as a whole were wrong. I lost friends and allies in an attack I planned to be a turning point in my quest to expose the Jedi for what they had become, if only it had turned out differently._

_I hope you see it now, I know you left the Order as you felt you couldn't trust yourself, but I want you to know that you should not hold any self-doubt._

_The Jedi betrayed you just like they betrayed everything they stand for, they are the ones responsible for all of this, no, perhaps I let my anger cloud my judgment._

_I take full responsibility for my actions, I have no regrets, accept that I dragged you into this in the first place, but I want you to know that although it may be hard for you now, leaving the Order will save your life in the long run._

_I have seen it all, heard it all, from the burning flames to the howling screams. I don't know when or how it will happen, but the Jedi Order will fall just like the Republic it serves and any who try to stop it will be cut down, just as I will be cut down…_

_Ahsoka… I want you to know that I am truly sorry for all of the pain and suffering I have caused you and that I will understand if you refuse to forgive me, I know I wouldn't forgive me…_

_If anything, I hope you are happy, I hope you are safe, wherever and whenever you get this message, I hope that those fires never reach you or that you never seek to reach them._

_Be safe, Ahsoka Tano and… May the force be with you, always._

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Disney and Lucasfilm Limited own all Star Wars characters and concepts. I do not own the rights to any of the characters, locations or anything to do with Star Wars. Any Original Characters and or locations however are my own.

**Author's Notes: **Thanks for reading guys.

I hope you all enjoyed this little one-shot. Originally I was going to use this as a bonus chapter for my other story 'Ascension' but instead I thought that I would upload it as a standalone story rather than add something into a story that I want to concentrate on Ahsoka only.

One of the things I hated about the season five finale was that they made Barriss out to be something she is not and I hope that what I wrote here would have been something that the writers of the show would have considered for her given that what she did was so out of character.

Obviously that's not to say I know what the people in charge are thinking but this is at least what I would hope Barriss would do once she has been given time to reflect on her actions and follow up on the regret I'm sure she had for involving Ahsoka in the whole mess.

But, enough of my babbling, once again I hope you all liked this little one-shot and I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review letting me know your own thoughts and opinions on both the story and of course Barriss herself.

Anyways thank you all once again for reading and I will catch you guys next time, cheers!


End file.
